A brand new life...something I wish I had.

The nights go by fast, but the day drags on like nothing I can describe. The sun shines through my window from having the curtains opened the previous night. I get up and shut them leaving me in darkness...where I want to be. My eyes go blank for a few seconds till they adjust to the darkened souroundings around me. I make my way over to my chair and sit there just rocking back and fourth spinning around occasionally. The darkness takes over me and I feel that I have to listen to some music. I turn on my cd player and put in a cd turning it up till I can't hear my own thoughts. Or the roar of my stomach from being hungry.

The only thing I can feel is the pain that lives down deep in my heart and soul. I close my eyes singing to the music. I can't even here my pathetic little voice...no one can anyways so I keep on singing. When the song is over I take a deep sigh because I am snapped back into my reality until the next song comes on.

The phone rings and a knock on the door comes. I turn down my music and answer the door. Answering the phone with a little "Hello". I put on my face and laugh as we talk and joke. Still sitting alone in the darkness with the music still going...only not that loud.

I've spent my whole life in the darkness and I will never stop.

~Crystal~