Paranoid...I think about it constantly. If you would ever cheat on me or just leave me. Alone by myself. Like I once was and wish to never be. That's life for you...Someone holding you and loving you and then POOF they are gone and you are tossed back down to the floor like and old toy a little child is sick of playing with.

On the outside you say to everyone "What a jerk" or "I'm gonna get him when I see him again, IF I ever see him again." But on the inside...it hurts so bad that you want to do anything and everything you can to bring him back again to replace the hurt feelings that he caused.

Sometimes I wonder too much about what's gonna happen to me. I guess I should just go along with the flow but I'm not sure if that's what I want to do. I hope I don't grow up to be lonely.

To have an empty heart and no one to share a life with. No one to die next to. No one to hold my hand or to comfort me when I cry at night. No one...no one at all. Just me..alone in my darkness...completely insecure.

~Crystal~