Chills go up my spine as I shiver in fear wondering when this feeling of uncertainess will rush by me, waiting for the next one to come.

I know I'm loosing it, but I don't know why. I thought I was happy. I guess I'm wrong.

I think about what I might need or what will make me happy. Nothing comes to mind to make me 100% happy but no one can ever be that happy now can they? And if they are then that's good.

The knowledge of life is killing me. When I was a little kid I wouldn't care about anything that happened. I look at my little sister growing up and think how nice it would be to be that age again where you come home and complain about things that no one really wants to listen too.

When you get older you learn to keep your mouth shut...even when people don't want to you to. Isn't that odd? No, not really, It's just wonderful old life.

The feelings in the pit of my ever so empty stomach are filling up more and more each day. Probably will keep going until I burst. Welcome to my life...that's even a welcome for me.

~Crystal~